Article borrowed from GatheringGuide.com

Updated: November 11, 2011

One of the nuptial situations that can quickly turn the stickiest is the invitation list. Deciding whom to invite can be cause for both reminiscing and grimacing for the bride and groom, but it doesn’t have to be a chore!

The best way to begin is to figure out how many people you can afford to invite. Once you’ve got a number, you can start creating your guest list. Prepare the list by:

Determining the people you really must invite–This will include immediate family members, some members of your extended family, and your closest friends.

Adding the spouses, long-term partners, and fiancés of your must-invites–At this point in the process, the names you add to the list should be exclusive to spouses, long-term partners, and fiancés. We’ll discuss more about the “and guest” invites later.

Thoughtfully including a first-round of optional guests–These individuals may be co-workers, business partners, next-door neighbors, important people from your childhood, etc.

Adding the spouses, long-term partners, and fiancés of your optional guests–Again, this list should be exclusive to spouses, long-term partners, and fiancés.

 If you still have room to add more, you may want to consider allowing your single guests to bring a date, or you may want to continue expanding your list with a second-round of optional guests.

 Remember, wedding invitation etiquette is about making your best effort to take everyone’s feelings into account. If you allow one of your available invites to bring a guest, you should seriously consider opening it up for all the singles invited. For instance, if Uncle Bob’s fling of the month is a delight to have around and you really want him to bring her, you need to consider allowing Aunt Kristy’s stick-in-the mud, on-again, off-again boyfriend to attend, too.

 Rest assured, there is no etiquette rule stating single guests must be allowed to bring someone to your wedding.

The No Ring = No Bring Rule

It should not be assumed that every person invited is allowed to bring a guest. In fact, some follow the “No Ring, No Bring” rule that clearly suggests only partners in a marriage, those who are engaged, or those who are living together are allowed bring their significant other. Sometimes long-term couples without a ring or plans to marry are included in this category but you will have to make that decision on a case-by-case basis.

It’s All in the Wording

It’s important to send a clear message to your invitees just whose presence you request. This is best done in the addressing of your envelope, the wording on your invitation, and by carefully outlining how to RSVP on their return card:

Envelope–Be specific and include the names of the guests who are invited. Avoid writing “Ms. Susan Granger and guest” or “Mr. and Mrs. Randal Whitehouse and family.” If allowing your single friends to bring guests, find out who they are and address the envelope by name. This personalizes the invitation and implies that these particular people are invited and not just anyone.

Invitation–If a limited number of people can be accommodated at the ceremony, but more are welcome at the reception, or vice versa, say so. You can word the invitation in this way: “Mr. and Mrs. Robert Josephs request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception (ceremony) for their daughter Louise Marie and Mr. Mike Smith on Saturday, the sixteenth of March at six o’clock at (the reception site and location).

RSVP–To ensure only named individuals come, you can print names on the RSVP card with a check box beside each person’s name. Although highly unconventional, this approach will clearly outline who can attend.

 Other Circumstances: Inviting or Disinviting Children and Other Guests

 It is your prerogative to include or exclude children in your celebration. Even if you choose to allow your immediate family to bring their kids, you may not want to be inundated with children from every guest’s family. This is perfectly fine. Below are some ideas on how to make this clear.

- Be detailed in addressing the envelope, invitation, and/or RSVP, as noted above.

- Include an inner envelope with just your invited guests’ names written on the outside of it.

- Enclose a handwritten note explaining your limitations, such as cost and space.

 An alternative solution would be to invite the children to the reception and not the ceremony or vice versa, depending on your primary concerns.

If, even after following all these hints, invited guests RSVP with names you did not include, you can advise them of the situation with a telephone call. Disinviting someone is never easy, but a direct explanation from you should clear up the misunderstanding.

No matter how much you want to share your special day with everyone, it should be understood by all that you will have to stick to your budget. Don’t forget, this is your special day. Surround yourselves with the people who mean the most to you, and they’ll certainly understand.

Couldn’t have said it better myself, so I didn’t )

{Salinas, CA} – February 12, 2012 – WeddingWire, the nation’s leading wedding Marketplace, is excited to announce Every Last Detail Wedding & Event Coordination has been selected to receive the prestigious WeddingWire Bride’s Choice Awards™ 2012 for Wedding Planning!

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Every Last Detail Wedding & Event Coordination is recognized as part of the top five percent of wedding professionals in the WeddingWire local vendor community, comprised of over 200,000 wedding professionals throughout the United States and Canada. The Bride’s Choice Award recognizes the best local wedding vendors across 20 service categories, from wedding venues to wedding photographers, based on their overall professional achievements throughout the past year.

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We are happy to announce that Every Last Detail Wedding & Event Coordination is one of the very best Wedding Planners within the WeddingWire Network, which includes leading wedding planning sites WeddingWire, Project Wedding, Brides.com, Martha Stewart Weddings, and Weddingbee. We would like to thank our past clients for taking the time to review our business on WeddingWire. Thanks to their positive feedback we were able to receive the WeddingWire Bride’s Choice Awards™ for 2012.  Our clients are the reason we do what we do and do it well.

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About WeddingWire, Inc.
WeddingWire™, the nation’s leading marketplace serving the $70 billion wedding industry, is the only online wedding planning resource designed to empower both engaged couples and wedding professionals. For engaged couples, WeddingWire offers the ability to search, compare and book over 200,000 reviewed wedding vendors, from wedding venues to wedding photographers. WeddingWire also offers a comprehensive suite of online planning tools for weddings, including wedding websites and wedding checklists, all at no charge. For wedding professionals, WeddingWire is the only all-in-one marketing platform for businesses online and on-the-go. WeddingWire offers one simple solution to build a professional network, improve search visibility, manage social media and reach mobile consumers. Businesses that advertise with WeddingWire appear on WeddingWire.com, ProjectWedding.com and other leading sites, including MarthaStewartWeddings.com (NYSE: MSO), Brides.com and Weddingbee.com.

I had planned to get all of this great and inspiring information posted right after the Wedding Symposium took place on January 6th, 7th and 8th.  That was the plan anyway.  I have a great excuse though: all sorts of couples got engaged over the holidays and were very excited to get their planning started so taking care of my new couples took precedence over updating the blog.  An excellent reason, I believe.

That said, I’ve found some time to finally do what I had promised myself I would do – share some of the fabulous things I learned at the Wedding Symposium, which focused on design.  I was delighted to be in the presence of some of the industry greats including Preston Bailey, Nikki Kahn, Sasha Sousa, and Bryan Rafanelli.  It was, in a word, AMAZING! 

Ok, onto some really cool ideas: 

* Carnations are back in style!  YES!!! I love carnations.  They are so versatile, come in a variety of shades, are hardy and fill a lot of space.  Check out some of the designs below.

Ok, I know these aren’t carnations but you get the idea.

These aren’t your grandma’s carnations, don’t you agree?  I can’t WAIT to incorporate these fragrant little treasures in this years’ wedding designs.

* Paper flowers.  These are too cool and so unique. Check out these designs provided by the fine people at Hartmann Designs in the Bay Area.  Give my friend Heather Phillippe a call for more info on this concept: 510.232.5030.

Pretty awesome and unique stuff, huh?  These designed will definitely leave your guests ooo-ing and ahhh-ing.

Ok, I’m thinking this may enough awesomeness for this post but will come back with more cool stuff really soon.

Until then, let’s create magic together )

Patty

About 60 of the best professionals in the area are in attendance, including yours truly, and are there to learn the newest trends in wedding design.  More on this after the conference but here’s a picture of me and my planner colleague Chanda with Preston Bailey )

Welcome back students!  Professeur Patte’ is very excited to see that you have survived orientation and have decided to come back to learn more.

This week we are focusing on what was my absolute favorite aspect of planning my own wedding years ago – selecting the gown.  I remember walking into Lynn Taylor in Campbell with my binder of magazine clippings then leaving an hour later with the biggest smile on my face because I knew I had found the one! 

Every Bride-to-be loves playing dress up and trying on the gowns that – up to that point – have been the object of her obsession.  After countless hours of Online oogling, umpteen issues of Bride’s magazine, and the borderline stalking of the area bridal salons, your time has finally come.  

Well, I do have to say that I enjoy watching “Say Yes to the Dress”.  IMO It’s very realistic and shows the point of view of the gown consultants and the special challenges they face with each bride that strolls into their wedding gown wonderland. 

For today’s lesson, I have consulted with Cathy A. Montante, owner and bridal fashion consultant extraordinaire of Collezione Fortuna Fashion Boutique in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California.   

I recently sat with Cathy (and by “sat with” I mean I sat at my computer and she sat at hers) and picked her brain about what the Bride-to-be should know about the whole gown shopping experience.  She was kind enough to share some advice that is sure to prepare you and make for an excellent experience.

Patte’: How soon should the Bride start looking for her gown and Bridesmaids dresses?

Cathy: The Bride should start looking 1 year before the wedding.  It takes 6 months to the order the bridal gown.  This is the same amount of time for the Bridesmaids and Mothers of the Occasion but is often done at the last minute!  Bridal boutiques do not keep large inventories in stock but this is a common misconception.  Special sizes need to be ordered and all bridal gowns are made to order.  “You can’t get a style in ‘just to try it on’…it doesn’t work in that manner.  Once a dress is ordered, it’s yours to keep – no exchanges or refunds – all sales final.

Patte’:  How many people should come to the initial consultation or shopping appointment?  (p.s. for best service, always make an appointment with the salon you are interested in visiting)

Cathy: We encourage our Brides to bring up to two people to help with the decision process.  The more people that accompany the Bride on her appointment the more confusing it gets for her and she often leaves only having to schedule another appointment.  We feel a limit of people is a must and is encouraged.  We also encourage for Bridesmaids to be done on another day unless it’s a small group and does not interfere with the Bride’s consultation.  There is always going to be someone in the wedding party that will disagree with everything.    

(Note from the Professeur: Do yourself a favor and leave your drama queens at home)

 (Additional note from Prof. Patte’:  NEVER, EVER, EVER try on wedding gowns if you are not a legitimate Bride-to-Be.  It may sound like harmless fun but doing so causes wear and tear on gowns and is a massive waste of time and energy for the consultant.  Keep in mind that most bridal salon consultants work on a commission basis.  The time they “waste” with someone playing dress up keeps them from a legitimate Bride and sale.  Consultants have to make a living and are keen on the legitimate Brides versus the tire-kickers so keep this in mind as well.  Karma can be a beeoch so don’t do it!)

Patte’:  How should the Bride best prepare herself for the appointment?

Cathy:  First of all, the Bride always has a “mindset” what her Princess Bridal Gown will be, but often buys a gown she totally would never think she would love.  We do encourage the Bride to be flexible in trying on dresses; beauty is always in the “eyes of the beholder”.

It would help us to know how many gowns she has (already) tried on, how long she has been looking, where she has been looking and her budget.  Photos are always helpful.  She should also bring undergarments and a pair of shoes in the heel length she plans to wear with the dress.

Patte’:  Do all salons offer alterations?

 Cathy:  Some do, some do not and will refer you to a seamstress.  Once shouldn’t automatically assume the alterations are free and included in the cost of the dress.  Most of the time they are not…this is just reality.

 Patte’:  Do you allow potential Brides the option of taking pictures of your gowns?

 Cathy:  No, not allowed at all!  Once the Bride makes a purchase she is allowed to take a picture of her gown only.  The gowns are copyright protected by their designers.  On that note, the Bride should be prepared to pay for her gown in full once she’s finally decided on her perfect dress.  Same with the Bridesmaids dresses. 

 (Note from Prof. Patte’: no matter where you decide to purchase your gown, make sure to get all store policies in writing.  Never assume that you can bring something back if you change your mind.  Most of the time all sales are final!  This isn’t because Bridal Salons are big meanies, but the simple truth is if they had to take a loss every time a Bride, Bridesmaid or Mom changed her mind, they’d go out of business)

 Patte’:  When do the new fashion lines arrive?

 Cathy:  In the Spring and Fall however we (at the salon) keep enough stock on hand of the best sellers and most popular styles.  We also special order if their size is not available if time allows.

Patte’:  Does the Bride need to be at that “perfect weight” before coming in?

Cathy: No.  Last minute alterations will always be necessary..  One never orders a smaller size hoping to fit into it; this can backfire big time!

Patte’: Great advice Cathy.  Is there anything else you’d like to add? 

Cathy:  Brides (on the Monterey Peninsula) need to know that there is now a wide array of Bridal Salons to choose from in this area.  This allows Brides to shop locally for all their needs!  We all sell different things and do not compete with each other.  There is no need for a Bride to shop online or go to the San Jose or San Francisco area for their Bridal needs.  Choosing her gown from local Bridal Boutiques ensures the Bride the flexibility and excellent customer service she deserves.

Class, I hope you have been taking notes and learned something from today’s lesson.  After all, shopping for the most beautiful gown you will ever own should be an awesome and once in a lifetime experience from the Online oogling to the dancefloor sashaying.

Class adjourned till next week!

 Prof. Patte`

Special thanks to Cathy M. Montante, Owner

Collezione Fortuna Fashion Boutique

Lincoln between 5th and 6th Streets

Carmel-by-the-Sea, California

831.626.1287

www.collezionefortuna.com  

http://collezionefortuna.blogspot.com

Additional photo credit:  Susan Helgeson Photography  www.susanhelgeson.com

Well, Professeur Patte’ is at the dry erase board and I’m here to drop some knowledge on you because, unless you’re J Lo or Larry King, you probably don’t have a solid grasp on how all this wedding planning stuff works. 

As the Wedding Coordinator Extraordinaire of this blog, I have gotten quite a few Brides and Grooms down the aisle throughout the years.  I stopped counting after I reached the “hundreds” mark.  That said, I’m kind of what you’d call an expert in the field. 

Am I reading the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings or spending endless hours scrolling through the pages of Style Me Pretty to get this knowledge?  Nope.  I’m taking my own experience a step further and have brought in many of the best wedding providers in the Northern California and Central Coast areas to offer a peek of their world, all with the goal of giving our Brides and Grooms the knowledge they need to maneuver their way to their wedding day in one piece and with their sanity and pocketbook intact. 

From Bridal Salons to floral designers to cake designers and everything in between, I have asked the questions you didn’t even think to ask and am sharing the answers with you.

Sound interesting?  Something you’d like to learn more about?  Great!  Open enrollment time is here.  Just subscribe to the newsletter and you will receive the lesson plan on a weekly basis.

http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/manage/optin/ea?v=001zqcU4F2bLecaWPnkJaQ-HfBY34iHOWtdQvvHFXoTI4anLcgxtPERtTe_-9xqiQIqlAlvgo0C8Eg%3D

Of couse, Professeur Patte” offers private tutoring to Brides and Grooms who want to graduate at the top of their class so feel free to contact me and I’ll be happy to get you to the front row!

Happy Planning, tout le monde!

Patty

Still, you are bound to see and hear of wedding horror stories either from friends, in the media or you may have already had your own personal experience.

That said, here are some examples I’d like to share and some ways to avoid having a horror story of your own…

Hire Professionals.  Sounds like a no-brainer but you’d be surprise how many couples out there think that getting Uncle Bob to cook the food or swinging by the farmer’s market and making all of the floral arrangements the day before the wedding is  good idea.  It’s generally not for more reasons than I can count.  Whether it’s because of budget restraints or because you want to add DIY touches to your Big Day, some services should be viewed as investments.  This is especially true when it comes to photography and wedding coordination.  You definitely get what you pay for and quite often the ”great deal” you took a chance on will come back to haunt you later.  As the saying goes:  “If you think hiring professionals is expensive, try hiring  amateurs”.

Hire local pros.  Ideally, it’s to your advantage to bring on vendors that are familiar with your venue, with traffic and parking situations and with the other professionals involved with your wedding.  It makes for a smoother team effort. 

Don’t invite more people than you can afford.   Planning to invite all 1,732 of your Facebook friends?  It’s easy to get carried away with all of the excitement of being newly engaged but keep in mind that the more guests you invite, the more money you’ll be shelling out. 

Wedding party.  Don’t feel obligated to ask someone to be in your wedding just because you were in theirs.  If you just don’t have that connection anymore then chances are they feel the same way and would rather not be put in that position.

Craigslist.  I’m sure the site is great if you’re looking for someone to trim your trees but I’d think twice about using it as a source for finding quality wedding vendors.  Ya, the price was great but just remember; your hacked up tree will grow back eventually but you only have one shot at your wedding day.

Get everything in writing.  Another no-brainer, right?  Not necessarily.  When it comes to weddings, it’s easy to forget or misunderstand something that was promised or discussed with your service provider months before your day.  Getting it writing saves your from he-said-she-said situations.

Be courteous.  We all know it’s both an exciting and stressful time for you and your family but you will definitely catch more flies with honey than vinegar when everyone’s on  their best behavior.  Avoid being labeled a Bridezilla or Groomzilla. 

Communicate.  If wedding professionals were mind readers they’d be a feature act on the Vegas Strip.  Always let your vendors know if you have any questions or concerns and do your best to reply to any questions they may have of you   This goes hand in hand with…

Never assume.    Some couples erroneously assume the coordinator at their venue or the caterer will take care of everything from running the rehearsal to loading up your gifts at the end of the night.  Although they will do everything to make sure the food and beverage service goes great, they aren’t there to take on all of the essential services provided by a professional wedding planner and are quite often ecstatic to work with a planner, since a good one will make their lives easier.

Of course, your first and best option is to enlist the services of an experienced and well-connected Wedding Coordinator.  Every Last Detail Wedding & Event Coordination has been guiding couples and their families through the complex and confusing wedding maze for over a decade and have saved hundred of couples and $$’s  in wedding worries and woe’s in the process.

Check back later for more wedding advise and feel free to write us if you have a question or topic you’d like to see discussed.

Wishing you magic!

Patty

One of my favorite things:  I love delving into my Bride and Groom’s brains (flashback  zombie movie) in order to get a good sense of their personalities as individuals, as well as a couple.  From these discoveries, we come up with fun and unique ways to create a wedding that’s a reflection of who they are. 

I’ve been planning for over 15 years and am always amazed with the creativity of the wonderful couples we work with.  The quirkier, the better.  I tell my couples that the sky is the limit, as long as it’s not offensive, immoral or illegal then let’s go for it!

Some of the coolest personal touches we saw this year were:

Jessica & Jonathan: They were total foodies and had a love for all things caliente’!  so we had Chef Todd of www.ChefToddFisher.comcatering create the best salsa bar I’d ever see.  From mild to “melt your face off” hot.  I suggested an accompanying Pepto Bismo bar but we decided to let the guests take their chances.  This idea carried through to the favors which were tiny bottles of Tabasco sauce and fit in perfectly with the Old California ambiance that La Mirada www.montereyart.org provides.

They also love riding around Monterey on their tandem bike so we incorporated that by dressing up and displaying their bicycle-built-for-two at the reception as well as using that motif on their escort cards.

Emily & Ryan: Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a HUGE animal lover so when Emily and Ryan decided to give a wag to their own 4-legged fur-baby Charlie, you just know I’d be excited as well.  With the magnificent Naval Postgraduate School www.nps.edu/Services/MWR/Services/DiningServices/ClubDelMonte.html as their venue, they displayed an engagement photo showing  just their hands and a whole lotta Charlie’s head.  Under that was a silver bowl containing “doggiebags” with Milk Bone dog biscuits for guests to take home to their own Fido.  On the tuxedo folded napkin at each place setting, each guest found a homemade shortbread cookie in the shape of a dog bone as well as a card indicating that a donation had been made to the ASPCA so that other “Charlie’s” could find their forever home.  How awesome is that!?!

Joy & John: It was all about the spirit of Aloha and Ohana when they celebrated their reception at the Cocoanut Grove at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk http://www.cocoanutgrovesantacruz.com/weddings.  Special touches included displaying one of John’s surfboards to be used as their “guest book”, offering baskets of “slippa’s” so that guests would be encouraged to kick off their shoes and dance the night away, as well as a super-cool Groom’s cake by www.butterybakery.com depicting replicas of John and Joy’s own surfboards. 

There are many more examples I can give but these ones definitely stand out as personal favorites.

Chances are your guests will attend more than one wedding this year.  Which aspects of your personalities do you plan to share with them to make your wedding day stand out?

Give me a call.  I’d be happy to pick at your brain (here we go with the zombie reference again!)

Wishing you magic!

Patty

The New and Greatly Improved www.eldweddings.com is finally here.  It was a labor of love by myself and my awesome web creation team but it’s finally here and is chalked full of information for all of the Brides and Grooms who are starting their journey toward their dream wedding day.

I look forward to sharing all sorts of great and innovative information with you and always welcome relevant feedback, suggestions and comments at Patty@eldweddings.com.

That said, check back often for updates and to follow us through Wedding Season 2011.  It’s been a great ride so far so hop on board.

Cheers!

Patty